Holiday Anxiety

With the holidays fast approaching, some are counting down to quiet days far away from the usual noise. Others are already feeling the pressure building. The thought of family reunions, old patterns, and too many people in too little space can tighten the chest long before the first suitcase is packed.

A festive living room. Do you feel bliss or anxiety?

Families have a way of touching the most tender, unhealed places within us. It isn’t intentional. It isn’t because anyone wakes up wanting conflict. It happens because most of us move through life inside a mental prison built years ago. Early experiences, childhood beliefs, the rules we absorbed without question, the moments that hurt us but were never spoken about. These become the foundation of the subconscious mind. They sit quietly under the surface until we find ourselves back in the same rooms, around the same people, at the same table where we first learned to shrink, defend, or shut down.

When we interact with the people who knew us before we even knew ourselves, it is often not the adult who shows up. It is the wounded inner child. The part of you that remembers every misunderstanding, every moment of not feeling seen, every time love felt conditional. And without realising it, you might be responding to your mother, father, sibling, or relative as if you are still that small child who had no voice. You may be punishing someone for a mistake they didn’t know they made, or reacting to a tone of voice that once meant danger, rejection, or pressure.

This is how old stories get replayed year after year, even when you thought you had outgrown them.

Creating a more harmonious holiday starts with understanding what is actually happening beneath the surface:

1. Recognise that most people are sleepwalking through their patterns. Every reaction, yours and theirs, comes from deep-seated subconscious beliefs, unresolved pain, insecurity, or fear. When your uncle snaps, when your mother comments, when your sibling stirs old drama, it is rarely about you. It is their own unconscious programming speaking. And when you feel yourself tightening, withdrawing, or wanting to explode, that is your inner child responding, not the adult who has already lived, learned, and grown past those old moments.
   

2. Accept people exactly as they are. You cannot change the personalities, wounds, or choices of the people you share DNA with. You can’t rewrite their history or force them into a version that feels easier for you. What you can do is remove the expectation that they will suddenly behave differently. When you stop expecting change from others, you stop setting yourself up for disappointment. Acceptance doesn’t mean approving harmful behaviour. It means acknowledging reality as it is so you can respond from clarity rather than old pain.
   

3. Change how you respond by noticing your emotional signals. Your body speaks long before your mind catches up. The tightness, the heat, the pressure in the chest, the knot in your stomach, all of these are early warnings that an old wound is being activated. When you feel this, pause. Take a breath. Walk into another room. Step outside. Or stand your ground and say “no” from a place of calm, grounded authority. A firm, clear “no” becomes powerful when it isn’t wrapped in old hurt or anger. It is simply a boundary. And boundaries protect your peace without creating war.
   

Holidays don’t have to be something you brace yourself for. When you understand your subconscious reactions and know how to navigate them, you no longer show up as the child trapped in old stories. You show up as the adult who chooses how to respond, who decides what energy to allow, and who refuses to hand their emotional power over to the past.

If you’re ready to prepare yourself for the next family gathering and want to leave these subconscious patterns behind, schedule a Consultation Call with me. I’d love to guide you into a holiday season where you feel grounded, steady, and free.