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Why New Years Resolutions Fail and What To Do Instead For Success

Writer's picture: Dr. Alexandra Balmer, RTTPDr. Alexandra Balmer, RTTP

Making one or more life changing New Years Resolutions is expected. Fitness studios have their best sales days thanks to these resolutions. Marketing has convinced us that somehow the calendar year changing has the magical ability to usher in a new version of ourselves. Yet somehow, when we reflect on the past year, the majority of us will determine, we were unable to stick to our resolutions. Why is this and what could we do instead?


New Year - New Me?
New Year - New Me?


The Subconscious Mind

In order to answer this question, we need to understand the relationship between our conscious and our subconscious mind. Our subconscious mind's main job is to keep us alive and safe. In the first seven years of our life, our subconscious mind is fully programmed based on the world we were born into and the beliefs of the people we spent the most time around. The subconscious mind saves how we should think, speak and behave in order to fit in with our tribe, so we stay alive. It must be instant and effortless, so we do not waste any energy or unnecessary thinking power. Our subconscious mind is our "Autopilot Mode", so we can use our conscious mind to create. This Autopilot Mode must act instantly and unwaveringly, so it pre-filters every experience we encounter during our day, giving us exactly what we were expecting. Therefore, your subconscious mind is keeping you "safe", away from pain and the unknown. Unfortunately, the filter details were never consciously chosen by us, but are the result of our "programming", of our experiences and the beliefs of the people we were around the most in the first seven years of our lives.


The Conscious Mind

In contrast, our conscious mind is the part we are most aware of. It is the part we use to create a vision, to solve a problem at work, to cook a new recipe for dinner. Whenever you focus your conscious mind on something, which is 95% of your waking day, your subconscious mind will take over and automatically guide you to complete menial tasks at hand. This includes things such as cooking your regular dinner foods, driving your car to work on the same road every day, replying to your spouse in a specific tone of voice, thinking about your finances, mother-in-law, boss, the list goes on. Has someone ever told you that "only you seam to have this problem with person X"?


Understanding this, you now intuitively understand that your subconscious mind will most likely work against your New Year's Resolution. Your resolution requires change, your subconscious wants to avoid change at all cost, because it goes against what has been saved as "safe" in it's programming. (Note: you may not actually feel safe or comfortable, but because this state is known to your subconscious it will determine it to be "safe" regardless!).


Classic New Year's Resolution

The five most frequent resolutions are:

  1. Exercise more / lose weight

  2. Get organized

  3. Save more money / spend less money

  4. Quit smoking

  5. Read more books


Take exercising more or losing weight. We are biologically predestined to hold onto weight and conserve as much energy, in case of a famine. Therefore, your subconscious does not want you to exercise more or lose weight. It will offer you countless excuses, why now is not the right time to go to the gym or why you are desperately hungry and need that chocolate right now. Your conscious mind may argue against it, but your subconscious mind will win unless you find a way to get your subconscious mind to understand that it is better for you to loose weight and exercise more.


"Cake is Love"

Because our beliefs were coded into our subconscious mind at an age where we could not even realise what was happening, we normally do not even understand why changes to our habits and routines are so difficult.


Take my client Martha, who visited me to find a long-lasting solution to her fluctuation weight. During the regression part we uncovered the following: she had been a lonely child, felt excluded and different to the other children around her. Her favourite person was her grandmother and every time she visited her, she would have a delicious cake waiting for her. Her subconscious mind has saved "cake" as equivalent to "love, affection, caring". So whenever she was having a bad or hard day, felt lonely or her confidence had suffered, she felt an unstoppable need to eat cake. No willpower was strong enough to break the feeling of her childhood memories of her grandmother's love for her.


Breaking the Subconscious Patterns

This is why hypnosis is so powerful. Guided by the therapist, you go back in time to discover your deep subconscious beliefs and feelings. By understanding your beliefs and "programs", you already have taken a huge first step. Using the Redefined Method we go one step further. We are now able to explain to your subconscious mind, why you wish to change to your beliefs, what you plan to change and how this will benefit your life.


For Martha, we removed the old belief "I feel bad, I need cake, because my grandma always understood me and loved me. I feel my grandmother's love when I eat cake". Instead we gave her a new belief that went like this: "If I feel bad, cake will not solve it. I go for a walk in nature, the fresh air feels great, improves my mood and is great for my health. It gives me space to think and lifts my mood!"


This way, you break the negative cycle of your subconscious mind to find the solution to a bad situation in food/ retail therapy/ alcohol/ drugs/ etc. You determine your wiring.

Stop fighting your wiring and focus on what it is, what you really desire. Can you imagine a life, where you are not fighting with yourself to bring change into your life, but change is brought effortlessly to you and you can feel it propelling you forward in your life instead? Click here!


Easy Change

I can, because I get to see it with my client's every single day. Don't take my word for it, read the client testimonial's here. If this sounds like something you could benefit from, why not reach out and schedule your free Consultation Call? No strings attached, find out in a 20 minutes call if we could be a fit. Change can be so easy, effortless and fast. Why fight your wiring, if you can just change your wiring to benefit yourself?


Even if you are not ready to start your Redefined Mind Journey today, I would still like to help you to powerfully jumpstart 2024. Therefore, I have created a YouTube Playlist filled with the most powerful "I AM"- Affirmations. In only 10 minutes a day, start coding your mind to easily allow for success, love, creativity, abundance, and many more. Love to read your feedback, so if you enjoy them, do leave me a comment and a like on the videos. Perhaps even share them with a friend.


I would love to help you reach your goals in life.

With love,

Alexandra




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Redefined Mind

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​alexandra@redefined-mind.com

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